&readytofly;; &readytocrash.

[[.Wyatt.]]

He felt it was safe to concentrate on one thing, just one thing only and maybe he would be able to think this all out and figure out what to do.The only mind numbing process that was available to him at the moment was the steady pull of air in and the constant release as he inhaled and exhaled.It was good enough for him.He let it fill his mind, but with the noise came the whispers of doubt, the silent plea`s to do something, the overwhelming frustration that he could not quench because he did not know what to do. So more or less he abandoned the effort, fighting instead to control the panic that so wished to take over his limbs and plunge him into a place that he was more then damn sure he would not be pleased to have been.He was sure that after this was all over he would need to face all that had happened, and not just awknowledge what he had done in little bits, letting the sensation and feeling sink over him before he jerked it away to avoid the quiet panic that would ensue.He was fairly sure that he would not be visiting the beach for a long while, and he could also ascertain that his eye that he kept on William would be ten times as observant less something or perhaps someone should try and harm his son.

Would they be looking for him ? The thought struck suddenly and with a diluted but nevertheless cruel kind of vengeance.He had committed a crime that by any degree was unforgivable in the eye of the law. Of course he could always state the act of self defense but he was doubtless that a punishment would be dictated anyways.If he went to jail,Will would have no family to return to, Cali haven been killed and his own parents having disowned him the minute he had the small bundle of blankets in his arms outside those airport doors. So most likely William would have to put up for adoption, the thought sent a cold shiver down his spine, he would absolutely loathe the idea of giving his son up to someone who he had to ties and no background with. It surely would kill him.He was not sure what death was like, but thought it would be best to avoid it at all cost.Death, when reviewed by most, was negative. Negative was bad therefore death was bad and Wyatt wanted to stay away from anything that was bad in life.It did not seem to be working as well as he had hoped.

He took a deep breath taking in the information, and a thought snuck up on him.If it were so dangerous here, she would have to leave.A small part of his mind was telling him desperatley he did not want her to go, the other thinking she could be safer.And if they knew about Jack, that could not be good either now could it ? If he could tell one thing, it was that Katharine dearly loved her son, and Wyatt suspected she would do anything to protect him.Wyatt knew he would do anything to protect William.He wanted to say something totally corny like,"I`d never let anything happen to you." or " We`re in this together." but it all seemed so fake, like what someone would say in a highly dramatic romance action movie of some sort.And then the whole problem,including Wyatt`s not quite so good way with words that so problematically came into play.

"I wish I had a better way with words." he said, more to himself then to her.Chewing on his lip he hesitantly met her gaze and drew in a breath."You saved my life..." he paused."I`ll help anyway I need to." the offer was filmsy,because of course, why would she want him to help.More then likely he would muddle things up, or get in her way.

[Katharine Jacey]

<sup>Her mind was swimming with.. things to say, things to do.. things to think. It was like this constant buzz in her brain, that just wouldn't go away.. it was quite aggravating, really. Why couldn't she just straighten everything later, she'd wonder.. and then, she kept realizing, over and over again, that she had to do it - now. Everything that she'd committed tonight had concerned Jack's safety.. the safety that she'd put in jeopardy. And now, the decisions she had to make now, were all to be based on what Jack needed - on what was best for him. And while the choices were hard, there were a few things that were very clear to Katharine.. one, that she couldn't just up and leave. She couldn't leave Wyatt and Will behind.. if she could, she'd take them with her.. but that wouldn't do them any good, would it? And anyway, leaving so soon.. it'd be suspicious. The police were probably searching for suspects as of now.. Kat had a feeling that she'd be on their list if she suddenly just rolled out of town.

Right?

And Jack.. dear god. The kid hated car trips, plain and simple. When they'd driven from Seattle down to Bear Creek, a relatively long drive, Jack had cried for almost the entire way.. and now, even when they drove to, say, the grocery store.. Jack threw a fit as Katharine tried to sit him still in his car seat. That, and it didn't help much that he knew how to undo the seatbuckle.

There was a price to pay for having a smart kid.

I wish I had a better way with words. Kat's eyes had unintentionally shifted down to the ground, but as Wyatt spoke, they turned back over to him, watching him intently as he continued. You saved my life... Well, she wouldn't exactly call it that.. she'd killed the mother of his child. And he called that saving his life? But she figured that, now wasn't the time.. there were no words to express just how sorry she was.

I'll help any way I need to. She couldn't help but smile a small, sad smile at Wyatt's suggestion.. he was a very caring man, as she could see, but she felt that his remark was only him, trying to be sweet. After all, who would want to help her? She was a murderer, a criminal. She was.. untrustworthy.

"Nonsense," she murmured in reply, sort of a soft whisper, as if she only half-meant what she'd said. Slowly, Kat leaned forward and placed a soft, friendly kiss on Wyatt's cheek. "That's really sweet.." she mumbled sadly, resting her cheek on his for just a moment, before pulling back and leaning aganst the counter again, her eyes averting downwards. "But I'm afraid that if you.. knew the truth.. you wouldn't really mean what you said." Eyes shifting back up to Wyatt, her lonely gaze met his, as if daring him to ask for the truth.. as if, she even wanted him to know.

But the flicker of her eyelashes quickly washed the emotions from her eyes, and into oblivion.</sup>

[[.Wyatt.]]

Why.Why couldn`t he keep his mouth shut.Why did it have to be this ? Why him, why now.What was with all the damn Why`s ? And quite suddenly he wished Will was here, that boy had the power to calm him under many circumstances, he was the one constant in Wyatt`s life no matter what.He wanted to be strong, because breaking down right about now probably would not earn him that label.All his life he could handle anything life had thrown at him,he managed to raise a kid without his parents when he himself was little more than a child.He got a job, an apartment, a life.He handled the bills, the late nights, he could handle anything, yet at this moment all he wanted to do was get rid of all his frustration,all the fear the hate the everything.The scary thing was, he just did not know how to do that.

And that wound, that damn wound, it was a constant ache, maybe it would have been wiser to stay seated but really that hardly mattered now.She had saved his life, at least, he thought she had.Wyatt, it was just so complicated.He missed Cali, he was sad she died, but she stabbed him ! How could you forgive that ? Intentionally as well.

As far as he was concerned she was just someone who had died that night, as painful as it was to put it in that light.

The overall feeling that she was giving was that he should not trust her, even though he desperately wanted to. After all who else did he have to give his trust to that a three year old boy, who although meant the world to him, really was not the most stimulating companion.If the situation was not so damn confusing he would have thought they might have been friends, they at least had the young toddlers in common. At the very least. He was a fool, an utter fool. And though he had bestowed upon himself that title, he knew not why. It was just there, floating around in his mind. And it was down right annoying.

He began to chew on his lip for probably the fifth or so time that night, taking in her sad smile and cursed himself even more.He was doing no good in helping the situation at all, if anything he was making it worse.No it`s not !, he wanted to protest violently but pressed his lips firmly together until he could say something that even remotely made sense.

He lowered his eyes, really sweet huh ? Maybe, but then again it wasn`t what he most wanted to hear. He wanted to help to ease the pain, to do something even slightly helpful but he was quickly finding out he couldn`t even manage that. "You never know." he attempted, as tried to hold her gaze.He did not think he had noticed before, but the kitchen was awfully cold, especially since he had lost a fair amount of blood and was missing his shirt.

Ah, he had hated that shirt anyways.He let his gaze drift over her, wondering slightly what horrors her past held, what could be so bad that it would cause him to take back what he said. He was curious, but unsure.

[Katharine Jacey]

<sup>"Is that a challenge?" Katharine asked in a slight jokingly fashion, her eyebrows arching ever so slightly. Did he seriously just say that? I mean, she knew that he had but.. it had certainly been on the surprising side. But it didn't take too long before she'd made her decision.. only a few seconds, actually. He wanted to know?

Well, then, she'd tell him.

Inhaling deeply, Kat braced herself for whatever was to come next, a small frown forming upon her pink lips before she slowly, but surely, began to speak.

"That man back there.. Tony," she began hesitantly, her frown only deepening as she spoke, her face wrapped in complete guilt. "He's my.. father." As soon as she'd said it, Kat's eyes averted downward in shame. Okay, so, he wasn't exactly her father.. but he'd raised her as a kid.. the only father figure she'd ever had, in her entire life. And even though they'd been through so much together, her and Tony, she couldn't help but feel as if, tonight, the weight of the world had been taken off of her shoulders.

And then sliced in half. And then put back on.

"When I was fourteen I got into some things I probably shouldn't have.. it's really complicated." She stopped again, trying to figure out how to word her next sentence, all the while making desperate attempts not to have to look Wyatt straight in the eyes. She couldn't do it.. she wasn't ready. Not when she was speaking of something as delicate as her past.. "Mafia. Tony and I are.. were.. a part of the mafia." Her heart was beating so fast that she could barely hear what she was saying.. she could hardly even breathe. Was she making any sense at all? From what she could remember, all that she'd just said was.. fragmented, and.. senseless.

"It's so hard to explain, Wyatt, I just.. I don't.."

No excuses, Katharine.

"..I was their hitman. I was eightteen, and they told me that I had to retrieve this money in New York.. I had.." she paused, again, her eyes watering up at just the thought.. the memory of Tony's orders.. telling her not to come back until she'd gotten the money and the man who possessed it, killed. She'd been so proud.. so excited to show Tony that she could play her role well. She'd had no idea what she was getting herself into.. not until it was too late.

"..I just.." A tear escaped her eye and slid slowly down her cheek.. closing her eyes, Kat hung her head, trying not to allow Wyatt to see her cry. Shaking her head a little, she inhaled slowly, knowing that if she didn't explain herself now.. she wouldn't make it through later on.

"His name was Covey. He didn't tell me anything else about himself.. he didn't tell me who he really was. But I loved him so much.. we were so.. but I didn't know he.. he was the one who was.." The tears were coming a little faster now, rolling down her cheeks one by one, lingering on her chin for just a flicker of a second, before dropping onto the black AC/DC shirt she wore.

"I was supposed to kill him." The words flew from her mouth faster than you can spell ' O-H S-H-I-T '. "He was the one with the money.. the money that Tony had ordered me to retrieve. But I just couldn't do it.. I couldn't kill him. Even if he'd lied about everything."

Finally mustering up the courage, Kat looked up at Wyatt and shrugged slightly, though she felt the guilt cut like a sword in her side. "But I had to.. I had to, because he knew who I was. And if I let him get away, everything would be ruined.. Tony would kill me.. if I didn't.. kill Covey. So I did it. I killed him. And nine months later I.. nine months later, I had Jack. Jackson Covey." Smiling just slightly, for no apparent reason whatsoever, Katharine looked back down at the ground, which had, seemingly, become her new best friend.

She let a long moment of silence pass, before she finally cracked. Tears welling in her eyes, Kat squinted them shut, but it didn't stop them from pouring down her cheeks. Emitting a small whimper, the woman brought her hand up to her forehead, she took another moment to settle herself.. but she just couldn't do it.

"God.. I m-m-miss him s-so much, you know?"</sup>

[[.Wyatt.]]

His eyes flickered down to the floor briefly at her words, but a faint smile spread out against the stark white of his pale ivory skin.The sweat had started to drip into his eyes, but he brushed it away with the back of his hand.Truth to be told, Wyatt was incredibly cold, then again anything was better than the soft numbness that had formed around his wound, and even then, he could still feel a slight sharp pain.He held himself upright with his left hand, braced on the counter top.He was feeling slightly lightheaded, but he could handle it, after all, sometimes when Will would be like a normal hyper kid, Wyatt felt more than a bit lightheaded.But Wyatt knew this type of lightheadedness was different.

Handsome hazel and green eyes rose to examine her face, sharpening softly at her frown.As the words she spoke made themselves clear in his mind, his brow furrowed slightly.Her father ? Surely not.Wyatt had a son, a child, and he was almost positive that someone who shared a bond that strong, which was impossible to break, could ever allow what had happened at the beach earlier.There was no way.But, he had to trust her, so he reluctantly accepted that as the truth, as painful and unbelievable it seemed to him.He swallowed hard, fighting a feeling that he could not quite place that formed in the back of his throat like some sort of vile liquid.Wyatt let her gaze drop to the floor, as he would not have been able to hold it anyway, and it wasn`t as if he could do anything about it.His right hand flexed at his side, idle and fidgeting like he was inside, but because of the wound, moving around or pacing really was not possible at the moment.Usually, when under pressure or emotional stress, Wyatt needed to move around or he would could not possibly be held accountable for what he said.Well, he could, but it wasn`t really...fair

Wyatt`s heart clenched briefly at the age of which she spoke.Fourteen was around the time, give or take a year that he had started getting involved with Cali.He knew that being that age was hard, especially concerning the people you had to follow, and Wyatt was more than sure he had many occasions when he relied on some one else judgement rather than his own.His fingers curled to the first joint on the counter, a reflex of pain coupled with just the whole reality of the situation.This made hardly any sense to him, and he really did not think he even wanted it to.But he tried the best he could, out of respect for Kat and a small, small part of him was very interested.Ask him why and he`d not be able to tell you.He knew she was avoiding his gaze, but that didn`t particularly matter because he wasn`t actually seeking hers out either.Dark brown and highlighted green would flicker to her face for a moment, before, as if burned by a match, would leap around the room in a calmer fashion that what he actually felt.

And he thought being a father at his age was complicated.His pools sparked when she mentioned the Mafia, and he looked to her without even realizing he had moved his head.The...mafia.Holy hell.Sure, Wyatt had been into some bad things, vandalism and the sort, but the Mafia.Wyatt had never heard much about the Mafia, and knew only what movies and books could tell him, he at least figured there was some sort of truth to the story they told.And if it was true, well..Okay, so Wyatt now began to see exactly why Kat had been reluctant to tell him, but for some reason, he couldn`t gather the strength or the want to be angry or afraid or any other sort of emotion other than intrigue and a slight pity that he wished wasn`t there.He hated being pitied and he imagined she did as well.She seemed like a good person, but the key word in that statement there was seemed.Wyatt had long ago encountered what could happen when you trusted someone too well.But he did not let a flicker of emotion penetrate his face, although a good sign was he did not suddenly recoil or start shouting, or even burst out laughing.It was just kind of a numb shock really.

He was about to say something along the lines of she really did not have to continue but two thing stopped him, one, he was pretty sure his voice would not work, and two, she had already started talking again.

Oh, and a hitman.Great, he was standing in a kitchen with an ex-hitman..er woman..or at least he hoped she was ex.But he could not help the thought from entering his mind, that kept repeating, what teenager ever made a wise choice ? So he could blame it all on her youth and that asshole who convinced her to start doing whatever she had done.Boy...Wyatt could kill that man with just the simple thought of how much anger he felt toward him..oh..wait..he already had done that deed.He stayed quiet...his gaze an intense burning sort without anything to fixate upon.

When the tear rolled down her cheek, he had to tighten his fingers even more to stop himself from doing something.He had no clue what, maybe wipe them away or attempt to give her a hug.It was his stupid parental instinct or what not.He hoped.Convey.Her words to explain the name did not make much sense, but from the tone of her voice and her broken tone told him she had really loved this man, and when she had confirmed it with an actual statement he felt his heart drop.He knew what it was like to be that in love and have it taken away.No, he had not lost his love ealier this night, but he had lost it when Cali had gone off, leaving him with Will.Wyatt could never, ever forgive her that.But when she died, he didn`t have a choice but to let go of his resentment for her, but he also could not love her any more.And for some reason, he did not want to.

Wyatt chewed his lip hard when the tears flew faster down her face and he almost started to hold his breath.He examined her curiously as she shrugged.He would never have been able to do anything she had done, that is he thought he wouldn`t have, but when it really came down to it, and it was his life over someone elses, he would pick his.The only life he would even fathom to put over his was Will`s.

Wow.That had to be doubly hard, killing a man then realizing you were carrying his child.But, erm, Wyatt wouldn`t ever have to experience that, so really he couldn`t imagine that.Still, his heart ached with the unfairness of it all.The hand that rested next to his side reached up and touched her elbow lightly, the only comfort he could give her at the moment without doing something that she would either try and kill him for or make him look like an idiot.He already had accomplished the second choice.

He swallowed heavily, his eyes searching her face, but she wasn`t looking at him.He tried to find the words, something to say, he really did..but what ? What could he say.He didn`t know.He hadn`t had time to miss Cali, not really.And now, still no time to even focus on the fact that she was indeed gone.So he lied...sort of.

"Shh..yeah..I know." His voice was soft, barely if even over a whisper and almost overcome with emotion that was visible in his eyes so plainly . He shook his head, more to himself, cursing the stupidity and pointless nature of his words.