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Post by Katharine Jacey on May 26, 2006 23:24:16 GMT -5
She had almost broken down in a fit of cries right then and there.. this was so.. surreal. She couldn't recall a situation ever being this crazy, or stressful. Kat was so used to keeping her cool.. and now, she felt that being able to keep her cool was so out of her league at the moment.. it was like, a superhuman power. And anyone who knew Katharine knew she wasn't superhuman, no matter how much she wished herself to be.
As Wyatt stood up, Kat gasped slightly and winced, at the same time, knowing how much pain he must've been in.. she'd been hurt similar to the way that Wyatt was at the moment.. that late night in Seattle, the last time Katharine had made contact with Tony before now.. when he and his crew had pinned her down and sliced her chest open when she'd refused to give them their briefcase of money.. and then left her for dead. And she must've looked a bit odd, stumbling down the side of the street and clutching her chest, tears streaming down her face and moans escaping her mouth.. the thought hadn't even occurred to her that she might call for help from the office, oh no - she'd walked, all the way to the hospital. In Seattle, in the dead of night, when there was no one out except criminals and drunkards.
She figured she'd fit in perfectly.
"Yes, yes.. William!" She cried in relief, just happy to know that he could somewhat comprehend what she was saying.. getting up and following him, Katharine took one of his arms and wrapped it around her neck, then took her own arm and wrapped it around him, so she was a form of support. "Lean on me," she whispered softly, glancing over at him, but never at the wound. She'd deal with that when the time came.
Helping Wyatt over to the car, Kat helped him inside and then took the drivers seat, sticking the keys into the ignition and thanking the lord that her janky automobile was actually working at the moment. As she pulled out of the parking lot and away from the beach, Kat reached back and grabbed a towel she'd had in the backseat and handed it to Wyatt. "Put pressure on it.. it stops the bleeding," she reassured him as she tried to focus on her driving, and her breathing, which had been unusually shallow.. but Kat was a fighter; she wasn't giving up just yet.
"Okay, Wyatt. Listen to my voice, honey," she murmured in the sweetest tone possible, but determined to keep his eyes open and his mind alert.. he couldn't fall asleep on her, not in this state. She needed to make sure that he could keep his focus. "I'm gonna tell you a story, okay? And you just sit back and listen, but I need you to do one thing for me.. just stay awake.. okay?" Smiling over at him, the woman took in a deep breath and sat back in her seat..
And from them on she proceeded to tell him a story she'd heard her sister tell her when they'd been little.. about the adventures of a little girl named Aikaterine, who lit up the room with her smile, and pranced around like a princess.. and even though it sounded slightly cheesey, you could tell that the story meant a lot by the way Kat told it.. with her tear-filled eyes and pained expression.. and every so often you'd catch her voice cracking, or a tear falling down her cheek.. but always subtle.. never anything to draw attention to herself.
And by the time she'd finished, they'd arrived at her house.
Pulling the key out of the ignition, Katharine jumped out of the car and raced around to the other side, opening the door to the passenger's side and holding her hand out to support Wyatt.
"Shhhh," she reminded him with the utmost guilty expression, offering him a soft, endearing smile to make up for the harsh condition he was in.
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on May 27, 2006 0:57:03 GMT -5
He listened quietly feeling like a little boy in the care of his mother.All he could hear was stay awake,and then the story softly fell into place,and he marveled,through his pain about the meaning.The pain in his abdomen was unbearable,still as sharp as when he had first been stabbed.He wanted, needed to cry out but he could not, he would not.He shifted on the seat of the car,ever so slightly and pressed his numb hands to his wound,wincing with the pain yet not so sure what he was doing exactly,or how he got to be doing it.
When they reached the house it was all Wyatt could do to stay awake,anything thought in his mind covered in a fog,and the knowledge that he was dying.He could feel it.At this time,he couldn`t even find the strength to hope. The memories came quickly,taking the edge off his pain.Will`s first steps,his first word,his first fall after his first step.Moments Wyatt could not forget if he tried,though he doubted he would ever try to forget them.His eye lids felt heavy,but somehow he knew he had to stay awake,his mind fighting to break free from the cloud, his body wanting nothing more than to succumb.
The sweet blanket of sleep beckoned to him from the deepest corners of his protesting mind.Called him so strongly that it took all he had and more to resist.Her quietly uttered words did nothing to ease the fog,if anything it made him more confused, but the confusion was what kept him awake. His skin,if possible had gone a shade paler,he had lost a lot of blood so far.
With a sharp intake of breath he steadied himself,and managed to rise from the seat of the car,making sure to use the least amount of weight he could on her arm.When he stood in the driveway the world spun beneath him so sharply he could not stop himself from turning and resting his head against the cool metal of the car,a feeling of sickness in his stomach.The blood flow had slowed considerably,but still bled freely.
When the wave of nausea had passed,he turned slowly and met her gaze,his brown tinged green pools laced with a look of fear yet a aura of defiance.His legs trembled beneath his frame,threatening to drop him upon the ground and leave him to his death,but he steeled himself with a gritting of his teeth, fighting through the fog.Idly,he wondered what would happen after death.Death,he knew,would come sometime,perhaps sooner rather than later,and no matter how much he loved Will,it could not change when it was his time.Though if he could help it,it would be later rather than sooner.
With a shuddering breath,he took one step,his foot barely touching the pavement before his knee gave out and he clung to the metal frame of the automobile for dear life.The cold sweat was starting to get to him,and he tried another step but his arm jammed not so gently into the door of the car.That was all it took to jar him from the fog,the pain coming at him so fast and at so full a speed it took his breath away.He held back a whimper,not ready to be weak.With a half smile he looked up at her,the perspiration shining on his brow.
"It hurts." he attempted with a laugh that made him bite his tongue.His voice was a smooth rasp,hoarse yet still sounded remarkably like him.Hands trembled on the metal.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on May 27, 2006 14:33:30 GMT -5
She'd never felt so motherly in her entire life.
Even with Jack, where she should have felt motherly, she couldn't help but have more of a sense of what it really was right now, with Wyatt, wishing that she could snap her fingers and make all of the pain go away.. it hurt her so, so much to see him like this.. and she hardly even knew the man. And that was a part of the problem, too. Because Kat knew that, due to the events that'd just occurred earlier, there were bound to be some trust issues between the two of them in the near future.. she wasn't sure if Wyatt had heard her conversation with Tony, of how she'd killed Covey.. and now she'd just killed his son's mother? Hell.. she really wouldn't be surprised if, after tonight, Wyatt never wanted to go near her again.. and she wouldn't blame him. Because when it all came down to it, Katharine Covey Jacey was a dangerous, dangerous woman. Even though she wasn't involved with criminal acts anymore.. even though she never wanted to kill again. She had the power and strength to do it reiteratively - and that was what made her dangerous.
She was never, ever going to forgive herself for this.
As Wyatt spoke, Kat gave him a soft, guilty, and extremely apologetic look.. shaking her head lightly, sympathetically, even. "I know it hurts.. I really do," she murmured in understanding, because she really, really did.. as we've gone over before, Katharine had had her chest sliced open by a knife only a few years back.. she could remember the pain as if it'd just occurred yesterday.. although the only thing she had now to remind her, was the scar.
"Wyatt.. let me help you, okay? I'm here to help.. don't be afraid to lean on me.. you're in pain." Like it wasn't obvious or anything.. sheesh! Could Kat think of anything worse to say? But it was slightly frustrating her that Wyatt wasn't exactly accepting her help.. that's what she'd held her arm out for. Hell, she would carry him inside if she had to.. and that wasn't a joke. Kat could do anything she set her mind to.. she was strong, physically and mentally. And it usually ended up helping her in the long run.
"Take my hand.. we're going through the side door, so we don't wake up the kids.." She had judged that, by all the lights being turned off, the boys had been asleep.. and as for the babysitter.. she'd babysat for Katharine so often, that she knew what to do; close and lock the doors and windows, turn all the lights off, and camp out in the guest room - Natalie was a pro, really. Not to mention that, Katharine always came home to a spick-and-span house. The girl was just amazing.
“We'll go slow, okay?"
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on May 27, 2006 14:45:11 GMT -5
He shook his head softly,smiling slightly despite the pain.Cali was dead and he had killed a man,could his life have turned even more ?Leaning heavily against the car he turned to face her,grimacing at the pain it caused where he had been stabbed.Biting his lip he listened,bowing his head slightly.Wyatt hated accepting help,it made him feel weak and vulnerable,both of which he was at this point.With a slight grimace,he held onto her hand,leaning onto her slightly,as he took a few steps.
"Slow is good." he muttered.
The past events were catching up to him,and he could barely comprehend what had happened.Cali was dead,he was a bit put off at the fact.Sure,he had not seen Cali for years,but he always thought she`d still be living long after he was gone.He was not angry though,she had tried to kill him,and from what he could tell,she would not have regretted it.The fact that Kate had killed someone before,her sons father,surprised him,and made him a bit leery of her,though he too had unintentionally killed a man tonight.He did not think he would hold it against her,though he might not be able to trust her fully,if he ever saw her again after this night.
He remembered the night he had brought William home,to a small dusty apartment that he could barely afford.He remember the intense feeling of hopelessness.Will was fussy and hungry and Wyatt had no clue how to handle it.His experience as a father had been self taught,though some TV movies that surely could not be much more than entertainment influenced him a bit.
He tasted crimson on his tongue,and realized he was biting the inside of his cheek,hard.He stopped immediately and ran his tongue over the cut that he had made.Wyatt never though in a lifetime he would have ever done anything like what he had done on the beach.He also never thought he would be stabbed,ever.
Wyatt had never really been injured in his life,no broken bones or serious illnesses,so this was a first for him.He was lucky his pain tolerance was quite high,or he may have already fainted by now.He took another step.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on May 28, 2006 11:47:23 GMT -5
She smiled sadly, glancing over at at Wyatt, literally feeling his pain.. god, how she wished none of this had ever happened! Maybe it should've been her who'd died.. yes, that's it. But not tonight. Two years ago.. with Covey. She would've let him kill her, if she'd known everything that was to happen in her future.. but there were drawbacks.. for one, she never would've had her son.. her beautiful, beautiful son. And even though she wasn't the best mother, she was all Jack had.. and Jack was all she had. Even if, some people protested that she smile around him more. Even if, she didn't always assume responsibility for him. She was still learning.. and she'd continue learning. And she'd keep Jack in the most normal and loving environment possible, even if it meant taking drastic measures.
But this wasn't about Jack.
Slowly easing Wyatt towards the side door, Kat silently thanked God, or whoever was in charge up there, that the walk from where her car had been parked to where the house was, was not that far of a walk.. and soon enough, they'd reached the door. Fumbling around with her keys for a moment, her hand shaking from nervousness, she finally inserted the key in the lock and twisted it, the door opening easily and exposing a dark room.
From there, Katharine proceeded to help Wyatt inside.. and once they'd reached the kitchen, she looked back at him, her eyes watered up and bloodshot from her crying over Tony, but it was mellowing down a bit.. she had to stay strong for Wyatt. He needed help and support right now.. not a giant mess. "Take a seat," she murmured softly, pulling out a chair for him and nodding encouragingly.
And all the while, her mind and heart were just racing.. she was trying not to think about what would happen if Wyatt had more damage to his wound than she thought.. he was so pale already. What if he.. what if he.. died? What would happen then? Because then, she'd assume the responsibility of two murders tonight.. Cali, for a direct attack.. and Wyatt, indirectly, for not being able to save him in time. And she would've been the cause of the deaths of William's only parents, and eventually he'd grow up and track her down, and at about the time he'd hold the knife up to her neck, Kat would be reflecting back on her life and wondering..
Where did I go wrong?
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on May 28, 2006 12:31:40 GMT -5
He hobbled beside her,his dark eyes cast upon the house, wondering if Will was asleep.It hurt to breathe,just a bit but he could handle that type of pain.The house was getting closer,or he was getting closer to the house,he was to tired to try and make sense of any of his many thoughts.One foot in front of the other was pretty much all he could accomplish at the moment,though the fog was permanently gone from his mind,the fatigue was starting to overpower him.
When they reached the door,his sigh of relief was audible.Dark pools squinted against the dark,eyes trying to adjust to the lack of light.When they reached the kitchen,he stood,swaying slightly,and just watched her.With a slight sigh,he slumped into the chair,wincing visibly when his back jammed against the seat.
For all of this,Wyatt only wanted the pain to be gone.It had steadily increased,somehow and now occupied most of his attention when he could no longer ignore it.But he kept quiet,there was no way he wanted William to see him like this,he had to keep his strong image for his son.His hands laid on his lap,clenched together beside his wound,yet not quite over it.The bleeding had almost stop, a small trickle still remaining.
Wyatt held no grudge against Kate or resentment.There was no way he could blame her for what happened that night.She hadn`t thrust the knife,hadn`t twisted it and left the gouge in his lower abdomen.So really,it would be so unfair to blame her.He had killed someone that night as well,and had to repeatedly tell himself that he was threatening Kate,so that he wouldn`t be guilt ridden for the rest of his life.Though he probably would be anyways.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on May 28, 2006 22:55:52 GMT -5
Wincing as she heard Wyatt plop down on the chair, Kat glanced back at him and gave him a sorrow-filled expression.. she was just loaded with guilt at the moment. Seemingly, tonight's events had only brought back memories and events that she'd been trying to ward off.. and she wasn't doing so well under the pressure. She'd never had this horrible of a feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling of guilt and emptiness and fear and.. all the most terrible things you could ever feel.. it was just a melting pot of it all. And Katharine, the amazing woman that she was, the woman who was apparently capable of juggling anything, was nearly on the edge of cracking; something that'd never happened to her before.. which only made her even more frightened. Tears were escaping her eyes, but not at a fast rate.. here and there, and she hid them well enough.. she didn't want Wyatt to see her cry. She was a strong woman. And if she needed to prove it, she'd admit to being the dangerous one, too.
Making her way to the light switch, Kat used the dial to turn on the lights, but keep them dim, so as not to attract attention and not to hurt her eyes or Wyatt's. Breathing in sharply, the woman then made her way across the room, to a separated group of cabinetry located right beside a hallway.. painted white, with glass windows which allowed anyone to see inside them. The moment she got there, Kat grabbed the silver handles of the cabinet and pulled the two main doors open, immediately grabbing a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide, a box of gauze, and medical tape.. then turned around and set them sound on a centre-island not too far away.. but she wasn't finished just yet. Literally running over to that hallway which'd been beside the cabinet, Katharine opened the door of a linen closet and grabbed two towels, then turned back around and headed to a drawer and grabbed a spool of thread with a needle stuck through, retrieved all of the other objects she'd previously taken aside, and then retreated back to Wyatt.
She probably seemed either odd, or just like an overprotective mother for having all of these things exactly when she needed them.. and the funny thing was, they'd all been used for separate things.. the Hydrogen Peroxide for any sort of cut or wound.. the gauze had been used for a dental-related thing Jack had gone through a few months ago.. medical tape was what, along with a small square of gauze or toilet paper, compensated for band-aids when needed.. and towels and thread because.. well, duh. And she may have even seemed like she'd planned all of this - the whole Wyatt getting hurt deal, I mean - but honestly, Katharine was just a fast thinker.. it might've given off not-so-proud impressions, but it usually really benefitted her.
Kneeling down beside Wyatt, Kat placed everything down on the floor and then got to work.. spreading the towels out under the chair, just incase, takin the gauze out of the box.. all that fun stuff. And once she finished, she looked up at Wyatt with determined, and yet slightly humored eyes.
"As innapropriate as this sounds," she murmured, her waterlogged eyes setting on Wyatt's, a small, discreet smile forming on her face, "I'm going to have to ask you to take your shirt off."
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on May 29, 2006 11:45:04 GMT -5
Watchful pools followed her as she collected the supplies, flinching inwardly at the sight of a needle.As long as he could remember he hated needles of any short,and had developed a sort of phobia to them.Though for now,he decided he could ignore the sight of one,after all,he also had a phobia of being stabbed.His eyes surveyed the dim kitchen,running over every material, each shape in the shadows, anything to keep his mind off what was at hand.His hand clenched and unclenched with unlet nervousness, was this safe ?Though she did seem pretty efficient in gathering all the supplies,and she had a kid,so that had to count for something. Though,Wyatt did know that he probably couldn`t tell a bandage from a cast if he was put to it,even though he did have to care for William.He was not quite sure if he liked the sympathetic looks,he was not one to admit he was weak at any point or time.But he could not complain,though he thought he should be giving her the guilty expressions.Who knew ? Maybe if he had not approached her in the park none of this would have ever happened.
Wyatt had never really been much into any sort of medicine, blood freaked him out a bit and all those instruments made him feel a lot less important.His shirt was gross,bloody and wet,and Wyatt felt a tinge nauseous when he looked down at the crimson liquid that had dried,yet some was still wet.He drifted into thought, thinking about the days when he would be so tired after work he could barely stay up to feed William before he would collapse in bed,immediately asleep.Then some days,he would come home and could not stay still,and yet those would be the days that Will was fussy and was not in the mood to mess around. Then there would be the very rare days in which Wyatt would come home early and be up for whatever Will had to go at and William was a ball of energy.Those were the days Wyatt loved.That did not stop Wyatt from wanting William to have a mother figure,it just never worked out.William never really seemed to warm up to anyone,and was very shy around the girls from Wyatt's job.-Pet trainer-
He was suddenly aware of her right in front of him,snapping out of thought he watched as she situated the supplies and grimaced slightly.When she spoke,a small smile lit his face and he shook his head softly,the smile still attached firmly.
"No one has ever asked me that before." he joked, unbuttoning the small round white buttons on his shirt.He winced slightly as he slid it off,revealing his slightly toned chest from years of carting William around.He gathered the shirt in a small ball in his right fist,grimacing slightly as he looked down at the wound.It wasn`t as bad as he had thought,but he had still lost alot of blood,and his body was coated with a slight cold clammy sweat that made him warm to the touch.The wound was small situated on his lower abdomen about three inches to the right of his navel,,but bloody,as Cali had twisted the knife it had done more damage then it should have.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on May 29, 2006 12:05:09 GMT -5
Kat laughed softly at Wyatt's reply, suddenly getting up and heading towards the kitchen sink.. after all, she couldn't do this without her hands sterile.. it was amazing what you could learn by observing television shows.. and other things.. the first time Katharine had ever gotten a serious wound, it'd been a gunshot in her arm.. she'd literally thought she was going to die. And somehow, she'd ended alright.. with the help of Tony.. who'd basically tried to kill her tonight. And what she was doing now, was similar to what Tony had done all those years ago.. minus the stitches.
She'd never seen nor attempted to stitch a wound up, but she had to take desperate measures to make sure Wyatt was okay.
"Anything to see you smile," she replied as she turned on the faucet.. the statement itself had taken more meaning to itself than she'd originally intended.. but, whatever. She was just glad that Wyatt was somehow still able to smile, even if it was just the slightest smile, in this sort of situation.. she wanted people to be able to show hope and courage in such scary situations.. it made everything seem so much easier.. and in Kat's opinion, being able to smile and joke.. was the key to success.
Taking the soap bar, Kat washed her hands and wrists throughly, completely dreading what she had to do next.. but she knew she had to do it. She wasn't giving up on Wyatt.. not now. No way. He was going to be okay.. he had to. What would happen to William if something went wrong? Where would he go? For all she knew, Wyatt and William were all each other had.. kind of like Jack and herself. It was a sad situation, honestly. But she couldn't break apart that bond between Wyatt and his son. She refused to.
Once she finished, Kat dried off her hands and then made her way back over to Wyatt, getting down on her knees and opening up the bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide, pouring a little on the gauze, and then looking back up at Wyatt. "Take my hand," she murmured, holding out her free hand to him as she spoke, "I hate to say it but.. I can guarantee you, this is going to hurt."
And with that, she placed the gauze on the wound, the peroxide fighting off any future infection as she gently wiped as much blood away as possible.
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on May 29, 2006 18:04:58 GMT -5
A weak laugh left his lips,and the corners of his mouth lifted up in a small and shaky smile.The power of a smile was not lost on him,and for a moment he was able to forget the gnawing pain eating away at his stomach.With a small sigh he leaned his head back against the chair.His gaze is sidetracked by the plain ceiling,nothing much to look at,but for some reason his murky pools are convinced it`s worth looking at.He`s captivated by something he cannot even see.And that scares him a tiny bit.Maybe it is some sort of hallucination that comes with the amount of blood he lost,or maybe he is just slowly losing his mind.Either way,he is not to pleased.With a stomach churning sigh,he tears his overactive gaze from the celling,staring dumbly at the ground.His fingers flexed without his knowing.In and out,open and closed.Maybe it was just a reaction to the pain, something that was still nagging him,as it should be.Because quite frankly,if he was not feeling the pain,he was dead.His lip was sore from when he had bit it earlier,but he continued to chew at it,until he could once more taste the crimson liquid,tinged with a metallic hue on his tongue.Immediately he quit,and resumed his quest to find something to take his mind off the pain by watching as Kate suddenly got up,wondering what she was doing until he saw her turn on the faucet.
He was trying his hardest to ensure all the faith he had in her,he was convinced that she could do it.At least he wanted to hope that she could.He watched as she knelt before him,sucking in a breath that he had not known he had been holding.As she spoke he looked down to the floor,fighting to keep his fear in check.He raised his gaze,meeting hers squarely before taking her hand.As she applied the gauze with the hydrogen peroxide he bit back a gasp and squeezed her hand,not quite as tight as he could have because he really did not think she would be able to do what she needed with a broken hand or a few broken fingers.Tearing his gaze away from hers,he stared up at the celling,his body rigid his head tilted upward.It hurt ! And he was pretty sure this would not be the worst of it.No,he was sure the worst was to come.Letting out a deep breath he slowly relaxed,realizing her job would be harder if he fought.He tried not to cry out,and did not move,he would never want William to see him like this.
He has a feeling that if,when,he survives this,his life will be changed forever.He knows that is true.Train of thought wanders to William,thinking back to his last birthday when one of Wills friends (a son of one of Wyatt's co-workers)had given him an homemade card-pretty good for a three year old-.William had toted that card around day and night,he was so proud,even though he was merely three that he had gotten a card.Though the blanket Wyatt had gotten him was close behind.The memory aloud him to drift out of focus for a few seconds but he was back into it with a intake of breath that sounded more like a hiss.Damn that hurt.Wyatt could only hope that Will did not wake up.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on May 29, 2006 21:31:22 GMT -5
As Wyatt squeezed her hand, Kate glanced up at him, as if studying his facial expression would tell her that he'd be okay or not.. though, at this point, she couldn't even let herself think that he wasn't going to make it because.. she knew he was. And although Wyatt was going to be okay, she couldn't help but wish that none of this had happened.. that she and Wyatt had never gone to the beach, or that Wyatt had never gotten stabbed in the first place.. although, it helped her conquer the enemy.. helped them conquer the enemy.. no. His wound had nothing to do with that, really. And she knew it. But she couldn't help but blame herself for the entire thing - for even just moving here in the first place.. because she was causing people pain. Was that just something Kat did? Did she just cause any and everyone pain, wherever she went? Did she cause Jack pain? The thought scared her. She didn't know how to fix it.. and there was only so much running that a person could do in their lifetime.. She didn't even know when and if she could stop. "I know.. I know it hurts," she murmured, squeezing his hand back gently as a form of support, her eyes returning to the wound.. she may have sounded motherly but.. could she help it? She'd been a parent for the last two years, the only companion she'd had being her son.. she may have not been the best, or most experienced mother, but there was a slight 'motherly' touch to Katharine.. one that she'd developed, only in thanks to Jack. "I'm going to need my hand back now, and you're going to want to hold on to.. this." The sentence had been spoken as Katharine finished cleaning the wound and she gently pried her hand away from his grasp, then gently took hold of his arm and guided it down to the seat of the chair.. something sturdy for him to hold on to, better than a hand.. because, he could squeeze the chair for as long as he wanted to and.. well, hopefully, it wouldn't break.. and anyway, Katharine would need her second hand for what she was about to do next. "This may sound a bit dumb, but.. this - " She picked up the spool of thread with the needle, and began to get it ready for the.. miniature operation , " - will hurt less, if you sing a song so.. sing something." Smiling a little, the woman leaned forward, ready to finish what she'd started.. she'd been dead serious when she'd told him to sing - if he took his mind off of the pain, then there'd be less of it. Raising a brow, the woman looked up at Wyatt with a determined expression. "Ready?" She murmured, sounding as ready as she possibly could be. "One.. two.." Okay, so, she cheated.. but this was a technique she knew that professional medical practitioners used.. somehow, it was supposed to stifle the pain through surprise - and Kat wanted nothing more than to help Wyatt's pain cease. And therefore, when she counted 'two', the woman began her stitching, not even waiting for three. I can't believe this is happening.. was the only thing running through her mind as she continued the stitching, daring herself to look up at Wyatt but never actually following through, for she knew she had to keep her focus on the stitching.. the thought repeated itself over and over and over again, and as she glanced back on a few of the stitches, that thought ceased and everything was silent for a moment, until another thought entered her head.. Oh god. I wish this thread was beige.
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on Jun 3, 2006 21:03:28 GMT -5
He gave her a weak smile that did not quite reach the murky hue of his eyes.Wyatt tended to run from pain,he hated it,despised it but could not seem to get away.It ate at him some nights, remembering what he had before,as a teen how simple his life had been before everything.And as much as he loved Will,he just wanted it all back though if he was given the choice he would choose Will over and over again.
Faintly,he could remember his parents though it had been a long while since he had seen them, the day after Will was born to be exact.He knew he had disappointed them ,they had high hopes for their only sun,and he tore them away.Wyatt had never meant to hurt them.He hated to inflict hurt to anyone,no matter how hurt he may have been that Cali had left,he never wanted anyone to feel the pain that he had.
More than the pain he hated self pity,which he was currently drowning in at the moment.With a internal sigh he tore himself from his thoughts,determined to no longer be caught up in the trap that his mind tried to snare him with.Death was something he had never thought about,not once in his life had he thought,"What will happen when I die," he was much to busy raising Will to dwell on things like that,and he would not start now.
When she spoke,he latched on to her voice,listening closely to each word she uttered,incase he might miss something and it was at least a good distraction.He nodded tightly,it did hurt.Alot.He decided he liked being talked to in a motherly tone,it reminded him of all the times his mother would fuss over a scraped knee.He missed that.Wyatt had gotten a bit softer over the years to his son,but tried to remain gruff with strangers,he hated to appear weak in any situation.He reluctantly let her hand go,the fear rising like bile in his throat,his finger wrapped tightly around the smooth wood,almost threatening to break it,but relaxed his grip slightly,not wanting to get worked up over nothing just quite yet.
Dark pools follow the thread,watching it closely as if it would try and pull something. Sing ? He did not know any songs to sing.Sure he was into Pearl Jam and Augustana,but really could he sing those to keep his mind off the pain ? It would be embarrassing,though he probably should not be dwelling on the fact that singing aloud would be potentially embarrassing given the fact that he had a stab wound on his lower abdomen.He met her determined gaze with a defiant one,determined not to show his pain,though it was almost clear as day.He swallowed heavily,the taste of emptiness thick in his throat.He almost shook his head no,but stopped himself,letting himself sink even further into the hard wood of the chair without moving.One,two, ...Goddamnit !
"Cheat." he growled,gritting his teeth against the pain.His hand gripped the wood arm of the chair so tight he thought,wished it would break.He hummed a few bars of 'Boston.' and tried a couple of 'Last Kiss'.His taste in music to say the least,was wide spread and varied by many degrees.He closed his eyes,eyelids covering dark pools,not daring to look upon what she was doing.He breathed in through his nose,and did not open his mouth,yet was still able to hum a small portion of 'Till Kingdom Come.'
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Post by Katharine Jacey on Jun 3, 2006 22:05:06 GMT -5
The minutes seemed to drag by so slowly.. and so did her stitching. I mean, it wasn't as if she were going slow to make Wyatt's pain worsen.. we've been over this before. She just.. didn't want to mess up. And what if she already had? What would she do then? Katharine figured she'd be forced to take him to the hospital at that point, and confess to everything. She still wasn't sure of how she'd clean all of this up.. not the wound. The entire event which had occurred hardly twenty, thirty minutes before. What was she going to say to the police? She was hardly able to figure it out.. her mind was so clouded with millions of questions at this very moment.
She smiled weakly at his words, glancing up at him for a moment before focusing more on the task at hand.. her expression showing that she wasn't enjoying this any more than he was. Really. They were in this together.. no matter what. They'd both become injured.. although Kate was way better at hiding her pain.. the pain caused by the kick to the stomach she'd taken by Tony back at the beach. And at that thought, Kat had to wonder how she didn't break a rib or two.. that blow had been so powerful, she was surprised that she was able to stand up at this point but.. then again, it wasn't all that hard. Not when she focused on other things.. like, the stitching she'd almost finished with. Or, the humming Wyatt had taken to after she'd begun.
Kat had to admit that, she really didn't know any song that Wyatt had been humming.. though, that didn't mean he couldn't carry a tune, just.. let's just say that, she'd never really been much into music. As a child in an orphanage, the most Katharine had known of music was the songs her sister used to sing to her when she'd been but small girl, songs that, apparently, their own mother had sang before she'd passed away.. though she'd long forgotten those songs, no matter how dearly she'd thought of them back then. Music hadn't been too popular in Ukraine during Katharine's youth.. not that she knew of, anyway. It hadn't been any more popular in the orphanage, either; every once and a while, she and her friends would grab whatever they could and start banging their hands on it, like empty garbage cans, or blowing into it, like half-empty bottles, to make music.. only when they were really bored. And that, in itself, and merely been a way to get attention.. for the lyrics that they'd made to go along with their 'music' had usually consisted of screams and yells, and stomps all over the third floor of the orphanage. And although Kat's music interest had changed from attention-grabbing-banging-and-screaming-orphan-music into anything that sounded fine over the years.. she still wasn't that into the whole song thing. The most she'd ever heard of was Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline. And the Backstreet Boys. They were still 'in', weren't they?
Kat briefly wondered if Wyatt was a Backstreet Boys fan.
And then, suddenly, she'd finished. Letting out a large sigh, Kat disconnected the slightly bloody needle from the thread and then reached for the gauze and medical tape, looking up at Wyatt with dignified eyes and a small smile.
"The worst is over.. 'kay?" She was, somehow, still able to hold that sweet tone, even in the position she was in.. they were in. Gently placing the gauze over the wound, Kate secured it there with the medical tape in no time and then sat back when she was finished, biting her lip, her jade eyes lost in thought for a moment before snapping back to reality, a teasing grin growing slightly upon her lips.
"Awwh, that wasn't so bad.. was it?"
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on Jun 5, 2006 15:15:33 GMT -5
His voice faltered on several occasions, but never stopped. The minutes seemed to drag on, taking him with them to the place he was not quite sure he wanted to be just yet. He found himself wishing suddenly that Will was here, that little boy meant everything and more to him, and if anything ever happened to him Wyatt did not know what he would do. Will could cheer him up with one small smile or a quietly uttered word. He brought him down when the tears fell down his face, his blue eyes begging his father to do something about it. And when Will was in pain, it was stab in his own heart, and he would do all in his power to kiss away the scraped knee or wipe away the tears from a fall. He bit his lip nervously and also to distract himself from the pain, what would happen ? Would they get in trouble with the police ? Could they be charged with murder ? Would they go to jail. Wyatt chose not to think of that just yet, as it would only worry him further.
He grimaced the stitches biting into his skin like stinging bees, making him want to move about just to escape. He watched her distracted smile wondering gif she had been injured as well. The scuffle with the man did not look to be entirely painless, though he had to admit he was not paying it the most attention at the time, so it was more likely much worse than he thought. Being stabbed was the least amount of pain he felt during the whole ordeal, the actual feeling of the wound, of the steady feeling of weakness, were the aliments that bothered him the most. Cali was gone, the fact saddened him only the tiniest bit. She had hurt him a great deal without even being near him. She ruined his life but she had given him Will, so he considered it even. Even so, he was being extremely giving.
He thought he heard Will cry, but it was only a memory. He remembered the days when he would lye around, to tired to play with William but not enough to sleep. He listened to Will fuss in his crib, feelings of guilt and self loathing plaguing him. He would crown himself a bad father, it was that way for a while until Wyatt got a new job that required less hours and eased away the tiresome schedule. After that it was much easier, and he had gotten even closer to William, finding out things he never would have imagined about his young son. He learned Wills favorite color, his favorite animal, and he also learned how little he actually knew about him. It really pained him to know that, but he had gotten over it and was not about to dwell upon it.
His mother had loved music, well he supposed she still did, but since he left he really was on at liberty to say. Any kind of music was in the household, soft and classical rock the two main groups. Wyatt therefore knew a few songs, and could at least remember some of the names with some focus. He hoped to introduce William to some of his music, but only time would tell if his son would be as big a music addict as his father.
His sigh of relief matched hers, as he shifted slightly but winced slightly, apparently stitching would make him a little sore, not to mention the pain really hadn’t faded quite yet. The sweat on his body had dried, leaving him with a sticky uncomfortable feeling, yet he was just to tired to care. His gaze shifted, his eye lids drooping though he forced them open. He listened quietly, nodding his head slightly. The worst was over. That was good …right ?
His eyes snapped open at her next words, his gaze forming into a playful glare. “It wasn’t bad at all.” he said placidly, though a wicked smile formed at the corner of his lips.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on Jun 7, 2006 20:53:52 GMT -5
She smiled at his reply.. knowing that he was going to be fine.. I mean, he was, right? Kat couldn't help but feel that she wasn't going to sleep at all tonight.. she'd be so worried. About Wyatt, and about how she was going to cover things up this time because.. she didn't do such a good job tonight. Usually she could cover everything up without a twitch.. she always had an alibi, thanks to that wonderful imagination of hers. And yet, somehow, it'd failed her today.. even now, after thinking the events over and over again, Katharine just couldn't come up with any sort of alibi.
Shit.
Slowly standing up, the woman walked over to the sink and washed her hands for the second time, before reaching into a cabinet above her head and opening it.. to reveal a variety of things she'd been forced to keep above the ground, ever since Jack had learned to crawl.. all the generic medicines, as well as a few others, as well as cleaning supplies and that whole shebang.. all stored up in that little cabinet. Quickly grabbing a bottle, she opened the object and grabbed two pills from inside it, before grabbing a glass sitting on the dish rack, filling it with water from the faucet and walking back over to Wyatt.
"Take these," she murmured, setting the glass and two pills on the countertop just beside Wyatt before walking back over to the sink and turning the faucet off. It wasn't like she was drugging him.. no, just meds to help with the pain. Usually, they were perscribed for much minor injuries, like headaches and stuff.. but whatever. Anything that could help, right?
Feeling a slight discomfort in her abdomen, Katharine's mind quickly flashed to the kick she'd received in the ribs earlier and she winced slightly at just the thought of it.. reaching over to the refridgerator, the woman opened the freezer and fished around in it for a minute, before pulling out a frozen pack of peas.
Oh well. She didn't like peas, anyway.
Glancing over at Wyatt quickly, Kat then leaned against the sink and lifted up her shirt, just slightly, to about the middle of her stomach.. her emerald eyes peering down curiously, yet, you could easily see the fear of what she anticipated inside them.. the revealance of her stomach also revealing a very, very large and very, very purple-and-blue-and-green bruise which nearly dominated her entire abdomen.. almost. Letting out a small sigh, the woman gently placed the pack of frozen peas down upon the bruise, only knowing that the coldness of the object would numb the pain for a little while.
"Shit," She murmured, looking off to her side and blinking back tears.. not because it hurt, because, really, the pain wasn't nearly as horrible as what Wyatt was experiencing.. but because, she couldn't believe any of this was happening.. she wanted to cry over Tony.. she wanted to cry for Wyatt. She just wanted to sit down and let those the tears she'd been holding in for so long escape.. but she kept reminding herself, that she'd done that earlier.. although, in reality, that hadn't exactly been the case. But she had to keep her pride in front of Wyatt. She wasn't going to show any weakness.
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on Jun 13, 2006 16:57:50 GMT -5
Suddenly he felt as if he could barely keep his eyes open. Idly,he looked to the floor, his head almost touching his chest, yet his murky tainted optics were wide and appeared to be alert. Breath came in shallow pulls, his throat dry and scratchy from lack of liquid. He shifted slightly, on the cool surface of the chair, wincing slightly because the wound was still sore. He should probably be thinking of what had happened, back at the beach, but at the current moment that was the last thing he wanted to do. How had everything got so screwed up ? When did he become the guy who went out to the beach and killed a man, got stabbed and came home ? It was a bitter thought, and probably one that later when he was more sensible, would have no significance to him at all. He was so confused though, nothing seemed to make sense, though that could probably be credited greatly to his loss of blood. He hated to feel confused or out of it, he liked when he was sharp, when he knew what was going on and exactly what he could do next. Too bad this situation would not allow him to feel like he knew what was going on because quite frankly, he had no clue what the hell was happening.
Questions flooded his mind, yet he could not even acknowledge them. It was like a phrase on the tip of your tongue yet you just could not say it...those were his thoughts..the back of his mind yet not able to be completely formed. And if he had more energy, then he might of been able to be angry about it.
Pools followed her slowly, watching as she got something from the cabinet. Wyatt`s cabinets in his apartment were bare, save for a few cases of baby food and old expired cans of perishable items. They never went hungry though, Wyatt could always find something for Will to eat, and order some take-out for himself. He really did`t clean much, but if he did his cleaning supplies did not last too long. As she approached he heaved a small sigh, barely noticeable but well enough. He hated to take pills, he was always convinced he would choke on them, but he took them when he needed. He shifted upward in the chair, so he was sitting a little straighter. He picked up the pills and popped them into his mouth, chasing them down with water before setting the glass back onto the smooth countertop and leaning back into the chair. Worried pools followed her as she went to refrigerator,and something told him she had been injured too. He could not see it exactly, she was good at hiding it, but he could tell. Plus the fact that she had fished out a pack of frozen peas from the freezer, he was not sure, but he did not think she would be cooking right about now.
Lowering his gaze to the floor, he played with his hands, waiting for the pills to take some sort of effect, no matter how small it was. The pain was lesser than it had been before, but it still hurt the sting of the stitches a hollow ghost still lingering over him. Why had he so looked forward to being an adult ? All he could remember was wishing he was able to be out on his own making his own decisions. That time came a little to soon for him though. It seemed like he barely had time to breathe before he was thrown into fatherhood...alone at that.
He raised his eyes at her curse, wanting to ask if she was alright, yet wondering if that would be okay. Finally after a moment he did speak. "You okay ?" he asked, his voice hoarse but concern was breaking through the soft exhale.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on Jun 14, 2006 22:56:30 GMT -5
It was like she couldn't move her eyes. Or her body. Or anything else, for that matter. Kat's mind was slowing down.. taking in the events that had happed just a while ago into consideration.. breaking them down into little tiny pieces. She was finally experiencing the true effects of what had happened earlier.. physically, and emotionally. Physically, she felt drained.. very, very drained. The bruise didn't hurt much, kind of like a bruise one might get from hitting, say, their arm on a table very hard.. it only hurt when pressure was applied to it.. whether it be big, or small. Her muscles ached with every slight movement, though, it wasn't as hard to bear as she knew it would be tomorrow.
And, as for emotionally.. it's almost too hard to explain. It was sort of this.. anger-filled fear, mixed with gloom and anxiety.. not to mention, the overwhelming misery that was overtaking her with every passing second. The main thing, that was causing all of these emotions was one single question, 'What do I do now?'. She didn't even know where to begin.. it was like she'd never even committed a crime before. Which, she shouldn't have in the first place but.. what's done is done. There was no going back.
No going back.
Wyatt's voice interrupted Katharine's thoughts and sent a chill down her spine.. was she okay? That was a horrible question, on her part.. because, really, she didn't know. She didn't know how to deal with all of this. Did that make her okay? Content? Peachy-keen? Or did he just mean.. with the bruise? She knew she'd be fine, concerning the bruise.. but she just couldn't find the words to say it.
Without realizing it, she'd turned her head to look in Wyatt's direction, her mouth slightly open.. eyes glazed over, giving her expression the last touch needed to complete that far-away, look of disbelief. It entirely explained how she was feeling, too.. something that didn't happen often. She was usually a master at hiding her emotions.. but not this time around. Wyatt now had the opportunity of seeing her caught off-guard.. seeing her weaker side. For a brief moment, Kat even considered telling him everything.. everything, in three little words;
I'm so scared.
;she refrained herself, however.. nodding her head quickly, Katharine blinked herself out of her far-away gaze and attempted to speak, though, it just came out in a whisper. "Yeah.." she murmured weakly, and then tried again. "Yeah."
It had just the same result, though. As soon as she heard her own voice, it was like a trigger for her mind.. her eyes squinted and her brow creased, face scrunching up slight and lips pressing together as if fighting off what she new was coming next; tears. Shaking her head a little, Katharine looked down at the ground, ashamed, as the first tear slid down her cheek.. and then the second.. but she wouldn't allow the third. Dropping the frozen pack of peas on the floor, Kat leaned the palms of her hands against the sink so as to hide herself from Wyatt.. she was so embarassed. Shutting her eyes tightly together, Kat held her breath in order to keep her cries in her chest.. and there she stood, silently, in attempt to settle herself down..
She just couldn't break down here.
After a moment or two, she exhaled and then breathed in another shakey breath, which could easily be heard over the silence. "I'm so sorry, Wyatt.." she mumbled desperately through tears, her voice a little higher-pitched and lighter than usual. She paused for a moment, trying to regain herself yet again.. but it only ruined her. With a small whimper, the woman shook her head inhaled, speaking again, in the same tone as [if not shakier than] before.
"I'm so, so sorry."
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on Jun 15, 2006 13:47:17 GMT -5
His cautious gaze watched her, worry etched into the fibers of mud and emerald color that painted them. He chewed absently on his lip, trying not to look as if he was studying her. Something settled in the pit of his stomach, something called guilt. If he hadn`t of went with her, she probably would not have come to the beach and everything that had taken place before would never have happened. It settled around his shoulders like a weight and pressed down and felt as if it were suffocating, yet quite frustratingly he could not feel it at all.
Guilt was an emotion he had felt too often, and one that for him, was even harder to get rid of. So he gritted his teeth and adverted his gaze, because the longer he looked upon her, the more guilt settled over him. But that was his fault, and not hers, he chose to let the guilt eat away at him, when he knew that he had the power, if not the strength at present moment, to rid himself of it. That fact only made the guilt stronger. The hurt from the stab wound was a persistent ache, something he could deal with quite well, considering his pain tolerance was not the best.
It was strange.
He felt as if he could not possibly keep his eyes open another second, yet his whole body was alive with senses that seemed to be in overdrive. It was a disconcerting, but not unpleasant feeling. Releasing his hold on his lip,he ran his tongue over the tender part, taking no notice of the small bite of pain that it brought. Chancing a look, he brought his eyes up to search her face, slightly taken aback at the look of disbelief that was so plain upon her face. His heart cringed, and he swallowed hard, his expression one of concern, sympathy, and helplessness. Utter helplessness. He did not think he had ever felt this way in his whole life, there were times when he had felt helpless, but never to this extent.
If it weren't`t for the silence, he might not have caught the first whisper, and he doubted the sincerity of that answer. He took in a steeling breath, because he knew, or at least thought, there was nothing he could do to make any of it any better. His lip was too sore to bother anymore, so he settled for the inside of his cheek. He nodded slightly to acknowledge her words. This situation was just so unbelievable. Something from a cop show, or television show, but never real life. The effects were better off in the world of television where the consequences of the actions were forgotten after a day shooting.
Oh how much Wyatt wished his life was a television show. Things would be so much easier. His heart ached when she turned for him, and he fought to stand up. A blinding white hot shot of pain extended from his abdomen and forced him quickly back into the wood. He almost growled his frustration as he settled back into the hard support of the kitchen chair.
The frustration grabbed at his nerves, making him want to defy the limits set by his injury with a fiery passion that in other case`s would have been enough to accomplish what he wished. Rather quickly, the frustration settled into a soft submission, somewhat more like giving up. He never gave up, or at least he tried not to for Will`s sake. With a soft, unheard sigh he settled back into his seat. At her last words, his eyes widened slightly and he sat up,his head shaking softly but vehemently.
"Don`t." his voice pleaded softly."Please don`t apologize." It was not her fault.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on Jun 18, 2006 1:22:27 GMT -5
She'd never felt so terrible in her entire life.
Not even when she'd killed Covey.. the man she loved. Not even when, she'd committed her numerous crimes, killing those who were supposed to be guilty but were never anything but innocent.. she'd never been so ashamed, even when she'd learned that those she'd been attacking were her allies, and not her opponents.. Tony had been her foe all along. But she'd killed Tony.. no, Wyatt had killed Tony.. and she didn't know how she should feel about that whole thing. In a way, she was relieved.. no, more than relieved. And then, she was angry.. but not at Wyatt.. at Tony, for all of the things he'd ever done, ever put her through.. the hell that he'd made her face.
Just thinking about it made Katharine want to curl up and die.
Everything was giving her a headache.. the silence between the two of them, and her thoughts, and just.. herself in general.. everything. She was driven to her wit's end.. falling in a pit of utter disbelief at how extreme these extremes really were. She was lost.. There was no one to turn to, and no where to hide.. was this the end? The end of Katharine Covey Jacey.. then end of her family, her life, her freedom? She could just easily wake up to the knocking of the police on her door tomorrow morning.. they could come to arrest her. For murder.. and for all of the other felonies she'd ever committed. They'd caught her, after all these years - after the wanted signs, and the police chases, and the undercover FBI trackers.. they'd found Katharine. At that would be the end of everything she knew.
And what would happen to Jack? She couldn't let him grow up knowing his own mother had been a criminal.. he was very unaware of that presently, and she wanted to keep it that way.. she loved Jack more than anything in this entire earth. Jack was her everything, her world. And because of her own stupidity and recklessness, she'd thrown his own safety up in the air, ripping and tearing at it, ruining it.
She was the catalyst.. of all of this. Just look.. look at Wyatt! The man had been injured, for Christ's sake! What the hell had she been thinking, to even want to say more than a 'hi' or, 'how are you?' to the man - she'd gone farther, making things more personal. And now, her need of some - any - form of a social life had become a form of selfishness.. and through this selfishness, Katharine had put her life, and the life of Wyatt, in danger.
The thoughts only triggered the tears to keep falling, one after another, down her rosy cheeks.. she was devastatingly silent, her quiet sobs racking her body.. her headache only worsening as she did so. She couldn't express to Wyatt just how horrible she felt.. and he didn't want to hear any of it. Don't apologize? What the hell was she supposed to say, then? Point at him and laugh and say, 'Hah, you got stabbed and I didn't'? She was sorry for that, too. For everything. Every single thing that'd happened tonight, she regretted.
Regret was a familiar emotion to Kat.
Sniffling a little, the woman straightened her posture and tried to discontinue her crying.. for at least the slightest second.. just to show Wyatt that she could be strong. She could be so strong! So why couldn't she show it now? In a situation in which called for it so desperately, Kat had none.. no strength to pull her through. She was becoming the weak woman that Tony had always thought her to be.. the weak woman that she'd always been too frightened to be. And that, itself, scared her greatly.
"I.." she began, though her voice faltered and caused her to begin her sentence again.. lowering her head slightly, though keeping herself as hidden from Wyatt as possible, she opened her mouth and tried again.
"I d-d-don't.. I don't kn-know what t-t-t-o do, W-wyatt.." she murmured, only to break out in silent tears again, though her voice betrayed her and she unexpectedly let out a small whimper, her entire body shaking with every silent cry. Her voice sounded so horribly desperate and lost.. almost as if she were questioning him, in a way. Pausing again, the woman inhaled sharply and brought a hand up to cradle her forehead.
"I'm so scared. I don't know what to do."
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[.Wyatt.]
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on Jun 26, 2006 13:12:55 GMT -5
He hated to see anyone like this. It wasn`t right. The fact that he had killed a man was slowly edging it`s way into his mind, and if he wasn`t careful it would sneak up and devour him. He would never have guessed it was in his nature to even be able to injure someone that badly, least of all actually kill them. That fact made him a bit nervous. And that whole thing with Cali was slowly making itself known as well. He didn`t love Cali, he had once but that time was so far past. But she was the mother of his child, and that fact had a bit of an impact on him. She was gone. Gone. He gripped the arm of the chair as the words rolled around his mind, wrapping around him like a down blanket, yet seemed to be suffocating him. Gritting his teeth he pushed the memory of her lifeless eyes from his mind and swallowed hard. And what would happen after all of this ? Surely Wyatt would not be able to go about his business after killing a man.They were sure to find him. Lock him up. What about Will ? Wyatt was pretty much sure that nothing that had happened would ever get back to his son. He would make sure of it.
For a moment he wishes it were him that lost his life that night. It was a stupid,senseless thought, but still it was there. Then it was gone, like the breath that so easily left his body, just a faded whisper disappearing across the silent air. Sometimes during this night, he couldn`t even be sure if life was even worth living. He hadn`t had the the worst life, nor could he claim the best, but either way he had William. And then there was a bitter, acrid aftertaste in his mouth and he was suddenly disgusted with himself for even allowing himself to think such a whisper of a thought.
Intense optics never strayed too far from her frame, the green and brown hues of his pools mixing together to form one electrifying color, neither distinguishable from the other, yet each one claiming it`s own distinct color itself. He felt almost removed from the situation, this was not his life. It was not he who sat gripping the arm of a chair in an unfamiliar kitchen with a stab wound, his heart in a million pieces. It was not his eyes that watched someone who most likely had it worse off then him, and it most certainly was not he whose soul was crying with the need to help her but whose mind was screaming with the injustice of no way to fix it all.
But it was.
The only other time he had felt so helpless with the need to do something had been a few years back on an rainy airport sidewalk,with a bundle clutched awkwardly in his arms as he watched the only person he thought he loved disappear without a backward glance through the automatic doors. That moment was forever etched into his memory, always changing. Details he hadn`t seen before came to him and others disappeared. Colors faded and images grew blurry, but the general picture was always hauntingly there.Sitting.There. Just there in his mind waiting for him to make a wrong step, get on the wrong train of thought before it would come after him, choking him slowly in the still of the night. And he let it choke him. He felt he owed it to someone, he wasn`t sure who, but he felt he owed it to that someone to suffer for his careless choice. Though at present moment the choice did not seem so careless. It brought him Will and took Cali. Funny how life worked. Real god-damn funny.
Her voice broke him from his thoughts,and he looked up. He swallowed hard as her voice faltered and let out a shaky breath. He never was one to let people cry without comforting them. That was just him. He hated to see anyone in any shape of pain. And when she broke he steeled himself.
He was not a hero of course. He would never be a hero. He was a normal guy. But when she said she did not know what to do it hit him. Although his situation years ago was not quite the same as what she was currently facing at the moment, it had some of the same quality's.He remembered the awful feeling of not knowing what to do. So of course he would want to comfort her. The only problem was he was never good with words, and he was sitting in the chair halfway across the room from her. He could fix one of them, not easily but he could. Preparing himself silently he eased himself up from his chair, biting back a gasp. The pain killers took the slight edge off the pain, but not enough. He would not let that bother him quite yet, and he took a very small, very tentative step. But it was a step in the least. Soon enough, or rather slowly, he edged his way next to her, standing unsteadily on trembling legs. "It`s okay." he murmered. He felt kind of lost, not knowing just what to say.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on Jun 26, 2006 22:22:13 GMT -5
You shouldn't be here.. she thought over and over to herself, her body shaking because of god-know's-what.. fear, anger, hatred.. melancholy? All of the above, perhaps.. Katharine's feelings were so mixed up at the moment that it was hard to decipher which feeling was the cause of another, or to categorize which one most described her at the moment.. it was all virtually impossible. All of it was just.. too much to bear. The guilt. The horror. Everything. And why had it all waited until now to catch up to her? She could have let all of this out earlier, with the whole Tony episode.. but she hadn't. And now, in payback, she was forced to relive everything in a situation where she least could take it - in front of another. And it wasn't as though she didn't want, enjoy or need company.. that wasn't it. Kat was a secretive woman.. a woman who'd rather keep to herself than anyone else.. discluding Jack, of course. She was a woman, you could say, who just wasn't ready for the world - for the world, and all of its judgements, and obstacles, and.. everything. All her life, she'd been shielded from the world. And ever since the day she'd left Covey, forever.. things seemed to just fall apart. The only miracle that had ever ocurred to Katharine was the birth of her son.. and the chance to watch him grow into a healthy and beautiful young boy. But she couldn't help but feel that whenever she tried to do the right thing, it always hurt her, or him. And then, you could say, "Well, maybe that wasn't the right thing, then?". But Kat knew. She knew that either way, she was going to fail at this. At raising her son. At keeping him protected. At covering up the horrible crime she'd committed just earlier.
At life, in general.
You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't even be alive.
She hadn't even heard Wyatt get up, or come near her.. it was almost as if Kat were completely tuned out from her surroundings, just for a moment or so.. but she seemed to need it. Just a second away from reality.. to escape all of the pain and the hurt that just never seemed to go away. And oh.. how she wished she could tell Wyatt everything! Every single little detail, just to tell him how horrible of a person she was.. how she could do nothing but wallow in her self-pity. He had to stay away from her, really. Didn't he see the pain she'd caused him already? She'd gotten him stabbed, for crying out loud! And then.. she'd killed his former lover?
..were they even still former?
Her tears rolled down her cheeks silently as she bowed her head towards the sink, hand still upon her forehead.. she couldn't let herself panic, not now. The panic always came at a later time.. always. And by then, she'd usually figured out a way to deal with it.. so that was what she was supposed to be doing now. Shove away the pain.. focus on everything else. And she tried, but just for a breath of a moment. And then she stopped.
And the world just kept turning.
Wyatt's voice startled her, having sounded closer than before.. eyebrows furrowing in confusion, the woman slowly turned to face him.. Wyatt, who was standing right beside her.. dear god, what the hell was he doing up?! Surely it wouldn't serve his wound well.. the guilt rose up in her chest again, higher this time, knowing that it had been her fault for making him get up as well..
Jeeze. She really had to calm down.
"No, it isn't.." she murmured, her tear stained cheeks only reddening as she weeped silently, shaking her head a little as if to prove her point. "It isn't, Wyatt. Don't you.." she'd begun to speak, but her voice faultered again. Folding her arms together and pressing them against her stomach, Katharine might have reminded one of a rather uncomfortable, frightened little girl.. with lost and lonely jade eyes, and a frown that was nearly heart-breaking. Another tear escaping her waterlogged eyes, Kat stopped herself from saying what she'd originally intended.. and finally spoke what was really on her mind.
"I j-just.. wish you could understand."
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[.Wyatt.]
New Member
.Claws'N'Paws Trainer.
[You Got All That I Need.This Make Believe.]
Posts: 42
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on Jun 27, 2006 18:28:53 GMT -5
He watched her, his eyes swimming with hurt and disbelief. She did not notice he was there,yet, he could tell, so he kept quiet until she did. The pain did not hurt as badly as he thought it would, though he was still likely riding high on adrenaline and the small dose of pain pills he had taken. They didn`t help much, but it was enough for him. The naive part of him, a small fraction of himself that showed up less and less as the years wore on in that deadly rhythm, could not accept the fact that pain was in fact a part of life. He chose not to deal with it, in physical or emotional state. But the rational, far more exposed part of himself knew he had to deal with the pain or it would slowly overtake him.He would not doubt for a second that it would. So gradually over the years he accepted that pain was a part of life. But really he had not experienced the blunt force of it. Having to leave with Will was hard sure,but it was different.He was young, he was lucky. He was older now, and he could not help the sinking feeling his luck was running out. He was not superstitious, black cats could cross his path all they wanted, he walked under ladders without a thought, and although he was not quite the believer in luck exactly,he still could not stop that feeling.
The fidgety feeling built up in his stomach, he knew he would rather be anywhere else right now, and he also knew that there was no way he could escape this. And he can`t leave her, he still had no clue how she even knew the guy he had....killed,so he could not just grab Will and run off, though that was what every other sense was telling him to do. And he could not listen to a single one. There were not many times when he had that overruling voice in his mind that went against all his other instincts and less still when he actually listened to that one voice. Now would be the time though,he`d listen to the voice that told him to suck it up and get through it without running. Cali had shown him what running could do, shown him too much. When he was a younger teen, before anything had happened,before Cali, he never really thought about what would happen if he ever did have a child. Hell, he did not even want kids until he was done with college and had his degree.He never did go to college. Now that he looked back on it, he was not sure if he would have made it through, but he did wish he had tried. He would never hold it against Will though, it would not be fair, or right.
Immediately he wished he could take back his words, just take them back and swallow them. Everything sure as hell was not okay, he had killed a fucking guy today ! How was that okay. Then again, Wyatt never was good at finding the right words.It had always worked against him for as long as he could remember. He took a girl to a party and she had gotten sick, he forgot to warn her about the kegs, and the next day, the more he said the bigger hole he dug himself. The girl never called Wyatt again. A low sigh escaped his lips, causing him in turn to wince,he made a mental note not to make and deep movements or take large breaths for a while. He wanted to rest his hand on the counter, but he would have to lean over Katharine, and things at the moment were already awkward enough. Besides, his energy had bounced back a little bit, slightly, barely, but at least his legs were not trembling. He winced when she spoke, he knew those words would come back to bite him. His green tinged brown gaze captured a great view of the floor, and he realized he did not have his shirt on. That`s why it was so cold in here.
"I know...I`m sorry...I wasn`t..I didn`t." he mumbled, knowing he was digging a nice little hole that he could crawl in. He did not want her to cry, he hated crying, well actually more like he hated the reason the person was crying, and at this particular instance he hated that there was no way he could get rid of the reason for crying. He began to chew on his already raw lip, welcoming the sting of pain. Maybe it would wake him up a bit, get his head to here, to now. Pale lips parted to reveal a soft breath, his body posture defeated yet defiant.
"So do I." he whispered, feeling the frustration,not at her but at himself, rising up in the pit of his stomach. "Look, I`m not exactly sure what happened back there, and I`m not sure I really want to know.." he paused, trying to find his train of thought."Are we...you." he stopped, not quite sure what he was trying to ask.If they were in danger ? Would they get out of this ?
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Post by Katharine Jacey on Jun 27, 2006 21:38:04 GMT -5
She brought her hands up to her eyes and wiped them, repeatedly, trying to get the tears to just go away.. she couldn't be like this. Weak. Weakness only lead to things that wouldn't benefit Kat in any shape, way or form - things that, in the long run, would only screw her a million times over. Weakness allowed someone to dominate the other - something that Katharine could not afford.. not when the safety of her son was put at stake.. not when the safety of others was in question. Whimpering slightly, the woman pressed the balls of her hands against her eyes and just waited.. breathing in and out, in and out, just trying to settle down.
Her body was shaking violently.. she must have looked like a complete wreck. Perhaps she was. There was never a time in her life that she'd ever felt like this.. never. And now, of all times.. she had to break down here. When she least needed it. When life, it seemed, had actually been going alright.. she had a stable job, and a nice house, and Jack seemed happy and content.. and then this happened. And what was she supposed to do now? She could flee.. at the moment, it seemed like the best idea. But this time around, it didn't seem as easy as it usually did. Like she'd be leaving something behind.. but what?
Wyatt and Will.
And that's where things got complicated.
I know...I`m sorry...I wasn`t..I didn`t. She'd heard Wyatt stumbling for the right words, but what would they be, in this situation? There was nothing they could say to make all of this better.. to make it all disappear. Because, like it or not, this was reality.. and reality just wasn't on their side today. And she couldn't even imagine how he must feel.. having.. killed.. someone. He'd obviously never done it before.. she could see it in his eyes.. his tinted brown-green eyes. He looked so lost and afraid.. exactly how Tony had described her, the first time she'd killed a man.
It was a scary feeling.. really.
"It wasn't your fault." She tried to reassure him, actually succeeding in forcing out a full sentence this time around. "It wasn't.. really. I shouldn't have.. I just.." she paused for a moment, trying to figure out just what she was trying to say.. everything she wanted to say, was trying to force itself out all at once.. and then, at the same time, she was completely and utterly speechless. "I don't know how he found me."
The minute the words had spilled out of her mouth, Katharine realized just how big of a mistake she'd made.. but she couldn't back out now. Lowering her hands from her eyes and folding her arms together again, the woman leaned against the countertop and listened to Wyatt continue to speak. His last sentence, however, hadn't made much sense.. and her bloodshot emerald eyes shifted from the ground and up to Wyatt, in a somewhat questioning matter.
"Am I.. what?"
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[.Wyatt.]
New Member
.Claws'N'Paws Trainer.
[You Got All That I Need.This Make Believe.]
Posts: 42
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Post by [.Wyatt.] on Jun 27, 2006 22:11:54 GMT -5
He swallowed hard, watching as she so valiantly tried to fight off tears. He can`t help but think that if he was in her shoes he most likely would not be able to deal with any of this. In fact, he knows he would not be able to deal with any of this. There was a new feeling,taking up the empty hollow space next to his heart, he was not quite sure what it was, but it gave him the feeling that he needed somehow to comfort her, do something, anything at all just to make it all a little easier. But then again, making it easier just might make it all harder. The thought made a slight ache form behind his right eye so he quickly and efficiently pushed the troubling thought away.
Wyatt had always been the one in charge, when he left with William, he had to be the one to take care of things, he could not let his insecurities, fears,he could not let anything affect his ability to take care of Will. So that might explain why he got so frustrated, having to accept that he must follow blindly, because quite frankly, he was lost right about now.He almost held his breath, willing Katharine to gather the strength to still the tears, he imagined she was not one to enjoy having other people watch her break down. Wyatt could not say he would enjoy it either if it came down to it.
His eyes once more found haven in the floor, optics traveling to his old worn work boot he was wearing. He had those shoes for years, the toe was scuffed with many scars, the rubber sole torn slightly, the ends of the laces frayed. In a way the shoes were like Wyatt, worn and beaten, frayed around the edges but dependable.Solid and dependable. At least he had been before this whole mess. Now, though it was not the best comparison, he was like a pair of high heels, unsteady and stiff, with the threat of breaking at any rough movement or any pace other then a slow trot. Funny that he could be compared to pairs of shoes and the comparisons somewhat make sense.If only everything were that simple.
He forced himself to look to her,somewhat embarrassed of his complete inability to say anything right.His expression did not change as she spoke,though his eyes showed doubt to the first sentence,understanding for the second, and utter confusion at the last. Who did she not know how he found her ? The guy he killed, the wave of guilt traveled suddenly through every available vein, coursing through him with enough energy to make it particularly hard to even meet her gaze.What if she had loved that man, though he wasn`t sure how she could if he had tried to kill her, though the same could be said with his past situation concerning Cali. Even though she tried to assure him it was not his fault he still could not help but think it was he who did it.No-one forced him except the rush of adrenaline and the prickling sense of something wrong at the back of his neck. He wanted to forget the man ever existed, but something told him he would never forget him. Not until the day that he was six feet under in a box of wood himself. Hopefully not for a long while, but after tonight he figured anything could happen.
He almost panicked at her question.What had he meant? Now he was not so sure what he had been trying to say.He swallowed and avoided her gaze before finally he tried to answer."Are you safe ?" he asked his voice quiet."I mean would there be anyone else looking for you ?" He hated to think that anyone else could be looking for her, wanting to harm her. And he wasn`t going to run.It would kill him to know if he left and something happened to her.He had no clue why, the feeling was just there under the steady beat of his heart.
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Post by Katharine Jacey on Jun 27, 2006 22:55:24 GMT -5
Her eyes shifted back to the ground, guiltily, as she waited for Wyatt's answer.. she was putting him in so much pain.. it was only causing her more. How could she.. how could she do this? To someone she hardly knew? Kat had always been careful to hurt only the guilty.. only those who deserved it.. even if, now, she knew that they had never been guilty anyway. That had been her number one rule, she'd said to Tony. No innocent person dies. And then.. the one day, she'd found it all out. No one was guilty. Everyone was innocent.. everyone except Tony.. everyone, except herself. And she hadn't tried to hurt anyone from then on..
And now there was Wyatt, and Will. And because of tonight, Katharine almost felt as if she had to.. protect them. Was she just crazy? She didn't know. But now that Wyatt knew.. and that he had faced so much trauma packed into one night.. it was like she had to sleep with one eye open.
But you do what you have to do.
Are you safe? I mean would there be anyone else looking for you? They were both complex questions.. just waiting for a complex answers. Anyone looking for her? Well, the whole state of Iowa, for one. And then there was the CIA, and the FBI, who seemed to have teamed together these past few years.. and apparently, there was still a 'Missing' add in Ukraine, looking for the child that had just disappeared one day - her. As if any of that was important though.. just kidding. But was anyone looking for her? She couldn't be sure. At this very moment, she was horribly blind and naive. She could go looking for the ones that were looking for her, but what good would that do? None. She'd only get caught, you see. And that was one thing Katharine had to stray away from. Getting caught.
"I.. I don't know," she murmured in reply, her eyes watering a little, but she held back the tears well enough.. able to keep somewhat of a reign over her emotions now.. now that she'd been distracted.. distracted by Wyatt, and by her thoughts in general. "They're all over the place, Wyatt.. last time I saw him, he had four others with him.. armed. I don't know if they're here. I don't know where they are.. but there could be dozens more." Exhaling shakily, Katharine looked back up from the ground, forcing her gaze into Wyatt's.
"They know about Jack." She murmured, her voice sounding distant, as if her mind were hardly even there.. though you could see, through her eyes, that she was fully alert.. somewhat unfortunately. "I just.. don't know what I'm going to do."
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